4/28/2002
Subject: status as of saturday morning
From: Brian Bulkowski
To: Ann Cancer list

Hi Folks,

I meant to send this out saturday morning, but in my haste didn't get it out right.

The only real update is that she recovered well from the biopsy, and had great energy today. She could have left the hospital, but Ann decided to stay there anyway. We expect to leave Alta Bates for home tomorrow around noon, and hope to have a great action packed day (not exhausting, but invigorating) Sunday. Cell phone is still the best way to reach us.

We've added another arrow to our quiver, which is Ann's therapist (mental). Mental state is often ignored in these fights, and we're not making that mistake. Everyone says that mental state is critical to positive patient outcome, so we're making sure she's well taken care of.

To reiterate, please call before doing something like visiting or coming out to show your support for Ann. This is a ticklish time, and we know we need much support over the long haul. But phone any time, and we'll get back to you quickly.

We're still waiting on the biopsy report for monday, and can't move forward until we have that. I'll share that as we know it. At that point, we will need all the research, contacts, and other information we can find to make a great treatment decision.

much love,
-brian

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Saturday Morning's Mail----

Hello,

This will be a slightly impersonal mail, as I'm sending it to lots of people in the interest of time. I may have missed some people who should be on this list. If you see anything, please let me know with their email address. I don't have all the email addresses for Ann's family, I know. Please forward this, and let me know who I forgot so I can get the next one right.

First, let me thank everyone for their incredible support over the last few days. Hearing voices on the phone who care is a huge help, as well as the technical support some of you are providing. Please keep it up, and don't be shy. Ann and I both need to know that all of you are out there. Call at any time -- 415 609 6926.

Second, the current status. Ann's stereotaxic biopsy went well (computer contolled needle biopsy), and she's recovering, which is a small blessing. She's been moved from her bed in the general nursing area (bed 6512A) into ICU (bed CC13). She'll stay there until she can move back to main area, or out. She wants to get out as soon as possible, and see the kitties and such. That's dependant completly on how fast she heals from the surgery, and we'll evaluate that day-by-day. We were kind of hoping it would be today, but last night she seemed very tired (although in full mental command).

The hospital has been good. Alta bates is a good, calm place with great people.. You should be able to reach ann at any time (no matter where we are) by calling the front desk at 510 204 4444, as long as she'd there.
Alta-bates hospital
2450 Ashby Avenue
Berkeley, CA 94705

Our next big step will happen on monday, when we'll get the results from the biopsy. That will tell us treatment paths and survival percentages and such -- until we get that, speculation isn't terribly useful. The current feeling from the Neurosurgeon is that it is best treated with radio/chemo. So it will be a long haul. Although I welcome each and every one of you to help in any way you can, the current thought is that Ann and I will need a lot of support in the coming months. If you're feeling helpless and want to come, consider waiting a few days for news, and possible ways to come out here in the next few months. That's not a brush off, we need any support available, but current thought is that we'll need it over a long term, and would like to plan it all out.

Ann's father, Carl, has just arrived from Michigan. He's survived cancer himself, and will be a great help. My mother, very good in a crisis and with networking, will likely arrive sunday night or so. She was already vacationing in california, and has diverted herself.

We will try to rest this weekend, gather our strength, and spring into action on monday. We will consult with the Alta Bates guys, and take the results to various neuro-onco teams in the bay area. Of course, UCSF is our primary brain tumor center here in the bay area, and we'll likely end up there for the treatment. As far as I understand from all the information I've absorbed in the last few days, doctors commonly specialize in a particular tumor type, so after the biopsy we'll have a need for bay area contacts that can help us evaluate doctors and such. I'll stay in touch.

How am I doing? As you would expect -- shattered at moments, but staying focused when I need to be, and working with determination to make sure we get the best possible outcome. The thought that goes through my mind is that, as much as people say that we must make the most out of every day, we get lazy and forget that everything can change in a minute. Plans that seem straightforward can just change like that. It's so easy to put aside, with the sun rising each day, and most paths of life moving foward cleanly.

Please remember. As a gift to me, do something actually great soon. This week, perhaps. Something that has a chance of ringing through the ages. That's the greatest gift you can give.

Again, we welcome your calls and presence, and most importantly, prayers and thoughts.

much love,
-brian